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Electronic mosquito racket online dating

Accomplice: One who lacks brains as well as honesty. Accordionated: Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time. Adoption: Growing in Mommy’s heart, not in her tummy. Affluenza: The epidemic of shopping, overwork, stress and debt infecting America. A-Flat Minor: The result of a piano falling down a mine shaft. A man who knows exactly what not to say, but not when to quit saying it; 3. Though boring, gives us the low-down on a lot of people we used to consider bright; 2. The horrible headache you have when you’ve finished the algebra test. Assembly Language: Put tab A into slot B, then put tab C into... Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. A man who looks through a telescope and tries to explain all that he can’t see; 4. One who prays when he can think of no other way out of his trouble. Attraction: The act of associating horniness with a particular person. One who can equally and impartially admire all schools of Art; 3. The science of doing it with machines at the plant so that men can have more time to do it themselves at home; 2. Autumn: A second spring when every leaf is a flower. Piece of cloth that stops woman from looking so ugly; 2. Average: The poorest of the good and the best of the bad. Bach Chorale: The place behind the barn where you keep the horses. A man who can take a nap on top of the bedspread; 14. Bamboo: Eye-pleasing, but extremely expensive and difficult-to-maintain type of rod, used primarily by anglers who fish for compliments. Baptism: A sacred rite of such efficacy that he who finds himself in heaven without having undergone it will be unhappy forever. A test to determine just how old you really are; 2. A transaction in which each party thinks he has cheated the other; 3. A game which consists of tapping a ball with a piece of wood; 3. Usage: “That gal cain’t even bawl water without burnin’ it.” Bay: A body of water surrounded by restaurants. Beach: A place where people lie upon the sand about how rich they are in town. What an eight-year-old will be on next birthday; 2. Bent: The species of grass most often found on greens. Bid Opening: Apoker game in which the losing hand wins. Big Band: When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players.

Air Conditioning: An invention for sucking the warmth out of the sensuous summer air, so that we might shiver in July and work through the season without dreaming of hammocks or lemonade. Algebra: Undergarment worn by female math teachers. Something which enables a woman to profit by her mistakes; 19. American Idealism: Being willing to make any sacrifice that won’t hurt business. Anoint: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery. Something too old to be anything but too expensive. ) Usage: See “Rats” Arguing With A Woman: There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Something that gets better when you don’t have facts; 3. Arrow Margin: Milestone for an Archery contest winner. Arsonist: A person who sets the world on fire, at least in a small way. A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable; 42. A man who can take women or leave them, and prefers to do both; 44. Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters. Backward Nation: One that hasn’t tried to borrow money from the U.

A head-on collision between two stationary cars parked on their own sides of the road. An ironically twisted word: while people cause most accidents, accidents also cause most people; 2. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin. The age when children try to bring up their parents. A teenager who acts like a baby when you don’t treat him like an adult; 2. Adult Film: A film viewed by people over 30 with a cast of 25-year-olds doing what 18-year-olds do, with a plot for a 6-year-old. Cheating on your wife with a much younger woman who holds you in awe; 2. Adult Education: What goes on in a household containing teenage children. Aerobics; A bouncy form of music-induced exercise, often led on video by sinewy women with stalled movie careers. Attair: (Southern) Contraction used to indicate the specific item desire. One of the perils skiers face that needlessly frighten timid individuals away from the sport (i.e. : A shout to alert people ahead that a hill is coming down the hill. A statement that noone but George Bernard Shaw can contradict. Morning caller, noonday crawler, midnight bawler; 8. Babysitters: Girls you hire to watch your television sets. A fellow who hasn’t anyone to share the troubles he doesn’t have; 4. A fellow who usually wants one single thing in life - himself; 6. A man who can keep both a chequing account and a savings account; 12. An institution that will gladly lend you money provided you can prove you are already so well off that you really don’t need it; 2. An affair at which a man may insist that he isn’t much of a speaker, then gets up and spends two hours trying to prove it. A brilliant conversationalist who cuts hair for a sideline; 3. Bard: (Southern) Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.” Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.” Bare: (Southern) An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Battle: A method of untying with the teeth of a political knot that would not yield to the tongue. Baughurst: A kind of large, fierce, ugly woman who owns a small fierce, ugly dog. Best People: The ones your wife knew before she married you. “Broken, but let’s hand it out to customers anyway.” The first “test” version of a piece of computer software that is released to customers is referred to as a Beta release. Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Emergency teeth to temporarily replace those knocked out by mistake. An instrument invented by the man who couldn’t decide how big the one was that got away; 2. Accordion Music: Noise that comes from playing both ends against the middle. One who is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study. Advergaming: Marketing strategy of using video games in which products, brands & logos are placed in the game context to build familiarity. Said to improve cardiopulmonary fitness of those who survive. Affianced: Fitted with an ankle ring for ball-and-chain. A fellow who rises to the occasion - and then stands too long; 2. Usage: “Pass me attair gravy, please.” Attentional Blink: A brief period of inattention following the locating of a target item in a stream of visual stimuli. Auction: A place where, if you aren’t careful, you’ll get something for nodding. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue; 2. A vehicle which is rapidly dividing mankind into two classes: the quick and the dead; 4. Autonomy: What there will be if I gain another 1,800 pounds. Blizzard, Fracture, Frostbite, Hypothermia, Lift Collapse). Avenge Yourself: Live long enough to be a problem to your children. Something that gets you down in the daytime and up at night; 9. Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk. A chap who believes it’s much better to have loved and lost than to have to get up for the 2 A. A guy with just a single thought: staying that way; 7. A man who can pull on his socks from either end; 13. A place that will lend you money if you can prove you don’t need it. Banquette: The correct rules and behaviour to be followed when you meet your money lender. Barefoot Luxury: A high standard of service in a relaxed and casual setting as at a beachfront hotel. A disease common to women, caught in the Sunday papers and developed in department stores on Mondays; 2. A game in which you young man who bravely strikes out for himself receives no praise for it; 2. Bawl: (Southern) What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. Betamaxed: When a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition, as in “Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market.” Betrayed: Ready to go through the cafeteria line. Bewilder: An insect who forgot to take his Ritalin. Bibliomania & Bibliolatry: Symptoms related to “Overdue Excuses Awards for Library Books” Bid: A wild guess carried out to two decimal places. Convictions: What an employee has after he knows what the boss thinks.

Airplanes: One of those things that’s of no earthly use. Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices. Antitalksident: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. A place where you start to turn off your radio and discover you’ve been listening to your neighbour’s. This includes the collective works of Dick Cheney & Michael Moore. Arithmetic: Being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes. Armed: Is a man with no arms has a gun, is he armed? Back Nine: The final 27 holes of an 18-hole golf course.